Zoey: Born by HVBA2C in July 2010 in Des Moines, Iowa
This is the story of the journey to the birth of Zoey. my HVBA2C!!
After moving unexpectedly to Des Moines my husband and I found out we were expecting number 4. Having had 2 previous c-sections I knew it was going to be hard to find a provider to allow me a VBA2C. What I didn't know was how hard it was actually going to be. Naively I went to the West Des Moines OB/GYN group where I was told by the receptionist and the nurse practitioner at my first appt. that a VBA2C was possible and allowed with their practice. I thought, wow that was easy. Little did I know!!! My very next appointment the doctor informs me that they will not let me have a VBA2C and that she wanted to schedule my c-section at 38 weeks. So in tears, I left the appointment. I went home and did a ton of research. I knew I was going to need a doula, so I looked up doulas in the Des Moines area. Then I called and talked to about a hundred people. After all this I came to two conclusions. First.This was going to be a battle of a life time, Second. I needed to go to an ICAN meeting.
At the ICAN meeting I learned that I had two options to birth my baby as a VBA2C. 1. Go to Iowa City. 2. Go see the only person in town willing to let me VBA2C. Well, Iowa City was not an option for me because of my family situation so I went to see the midwife.
In the beginning my relationship with Sheryl was weak and I didn't know her very well. But over the rest of my pregnancy I learned a lot about her and I learned exactly how much this women really did know. I fondly call her a walking encyclopedia. I gained such great respect for her over the duration of my pregnancy that I couldn't imagine having my birth with anyone else attending.
So the day began.
On July 13, at 8:00 AM or so, I woke up with contractions that were mild in nature but stronger than the normal Braxton hicks. I didn't think much of it so I just lay there praying they would continue. A few times prior, I had been awakened by contractions, but as soon as I started going for my day they would stop. I figured this would be the same. Much to my surprise they kept going, so I took my shower and got dressed for the day. At this point they were still every 10 minutes. I was very excited that they weren't stopping so I finally decided I could tell my hubby. Any other time I had contractions he would get so excited and say "this is the day" only for it to not be the day, so I had decided a few days prior that I wasn't going to tell him anything about contractions until I knew they weren't going to stop and it really was "the day."
After I told my husband, I called my doula, Diane, and informed her that I was in early labor. We decided to keep in touch through the day. I had a appt. scheduled with Sheryl for 11Am that day so I decided to just keep that appt and have Sheryl check me when I got there. When Sheryl checked me I was a 3, and well on my way to a 4. Sheryl told me to go home and eat something and just keep her informed through out the day. She also said if I wanted to come back to be checked later that all I had to do was call. I was super excited because up to this point it wasn't really that uncomfortable and making it to almost 4 already felt like such an accomplishment. I felt like this could go fast and that thought was exciting!
At this point I called Diane and told her about my progress and we decided that it was time for her husband to come over to our house and set up the birth pool. It was about 1:00PM when the pool was set up and for about the next few hours we just fiddled with the pool making sure it was at a good temp and cleaning the sediment out of the bottom from the water heater. (lesson learned. don't fill the pool directly from the water heater without a net over the hose to catch sediment from the bottom of the water heater). I just walked around the house preparing things and doing laundry until about 4pm. My contractions were very irregular ranging from 5 min to 8 minutes and not very strong. They were mostly annoying and I felt like I couldn't relax through them but knew they weren't quite strong enough.
At this point I called Sheryl and went in to be checked again. I was only a 5! I felt defeated. I couldn't believe I had gone that long and only accomplished 1 more centimeter. Sheryl told me to go walk somewhere and again, to eat. So my husband, mother in law, and I went to Wendy's to get some chili (the only thing that sounded good) and went and walked around Wal-Mart. After1 hour in Wal-Mart, the contractions were very difficult to work through. I felt like everyone was starring at me because I couldn't stand still though a contraction and I was breathing very heavily. I am sure I was a comical sight. At that point my legs were killing me so I said lets go home. I got home around 6 or so and it was about that point that Diane showed up.
I spent some time in the tub and out of the tub on my birth ball while my mother in law and hubby spent time taking turns rubbing my back for the next hour or so. At one point I got back into the tub and noticed I was feeling shaky. I thought I might be getting close to transition but wasn't quite sure. I just kind of worked through a few more contractions but then I was feeling nauseas. By that point I knew we were getting close but still didn't want to call Sheryl to come over. I feared she would get to the house and tell me I was only an 8 or something. Now I know this is a bit unusual, but my hubby has this special skill. he is able to check my cervix. Anyway, after debating on whether to call Sheryl, Diane finally said why don't you just have Patrick check you. I thought ok that's a good compromise. The only problem is, Patrick has only ever checked me up till about 3 centimeters before. So when he checked me he didn't really know what he was feeling but he said he could feel one side of the cervix but not the other. Diane and I kind of thought that may mean I was about 9.5 centimeters and decided to call Sheryl.
At about 10:30 Sheryl got there and checked me and said exactly what Patrick had said. I was for sure 9.5 centimeters with just a little bit of a cervical lip left. This scared the heck out of me because when I got to this point with my first daughter (my first vaginal birth) I pushed for almost 8 hours after to have her. I knew I didn't have 8 hours of pushing in me my by this point and this started a panic mode. I kept telling Sheryl I couldn't do it. She said yes I could and wanted to just see if she could push the lip of the cervix out of the way while I pushed through a contraction. This was also something that I had to do with my first daughter and let me tell you, nothing hurts worse than having someone push on the cervix while pushing through a contraction. I wanted to kick Sheryl out of the way it hurt so bad. She said the lip moves right out of the way and your bag of water is bulging. She also told me that she thought if I just push that the baby will come right down. So I gave a little push and then my water broke.
I just kept thinking this pushing stuff hurts worse than the contractions and I can't push for another 8 hours. I kept panicking and walking away from Sheryl and Diane saying let me go to the hospital. They kept saying no just push and you will have that baby. I didn't believe them. They tried to get me to relax a bit on the bed in my hubby's arms but then a contraction would hit and I would end up out of bed walking to the front door telling them I was leaving. It was a comical sight I am sure since I was completely naked telling them get me my robe I am going to the hospital because I can't do this. Finally at one point they convinced me to get on the toilet and convinced me to try and push one good push. It was at that point that I felt the baby move down inside of me. I knew at that point that the baby would move down and I could push her out. So I told them I wanted to lay down. I went to my bed and laid down next to my husband and with the next contraction I pulled my knees to my chest and pushed with all my might and the only thing I could think is I WANT THIS OVER WITH so I just kept pushing and pushing and after 3 pushes her little body squished out of me. All I could think was I did it. I finally did it. Looking at her on my chest was the most amazing thing and still to this day I have a hard time comprehending what I actually accomplished. Zoey Lynn Duquette was born at 1:15 AM on July 14th. She weighed 9lbs 9oz and my perineum was INTACT!!! No tearing for me ? If I have inspired one person to attempt a VBAC then I have done my job by sharing this story.
